McDonald’s gets butts in chairs by removing drive-throughs, calling it “Reverse Innovation”

In a last minute audible to aid Q3 revenue, the Happy Meal kids who grew up, came through and saved the day with their cash.

Not too long ago, a Big Mac was selling for $18 and the internet let them have it with memes. It turns out you can’t be the king of fast food value meals and have a Michelin star. Or can you?

Executives at the big global chain have adopted a contrarian model in this inflationary environment and commercial real estate is too expensive to expand drive-throughs. “We’ve put on a few extra pounds as a company in the last two decades,” sweated out McDonald’s Chief Arch Experimentor, “we’re going all in with this new business model and we’ve estimated a 4.20x increase in average purchase rate from our biggest customers, millennials,” he continued to sweat profusely.

Their gamble paid off, as they closed the drive-through lanes, they began their new “Luxury Big Mac” experience. It created wide demand around the belt regions of the United States. Mile-long lines of loyal customers covered the sidewalks, anxiously awaiting their turn to put their feet inside a McDonald’s. And walking in they are greeted by a McButler, organic fair-trade velvet napkins, 24-karat collectible cups, and in case you were wondering, yes, the play place is back!