The Market Jester

Red Lobster Unveils "Endless Lettuce" with Infinite Sauce Bar

In Red Lobster's somber boardroom after declaring for bankruptcy, directors shifted uncomfortably as Cindy Shells, the CEO's enthusiastic executive assistant, stood to present.

From Click to Brick: Amazon's Office Odyssey

Amazon, the company that revolutionized online shopping, has decided the best way to run an internet business is to get everyone offline and into the office.

Aisle Be Damned: Target's War on Shrinkage Goes Parabolic

In a bold move to combat shrinkage (fancy term for someone sneakily taking a cookie without asking), Target has unveiled its latest loss prevention strategy: transforming entire stores into giant vending machines.

McDonald’s gets butts in chairs by removing drive-throughs, calling it “Reverse Innovation”

In a last minute audible to aid Q3 revenue, the Happy Meal kids who grew up, came through and saved the day with their cash.

Digital Apes and Real-Life Bulls in the YOLO Economy's Lambo Love Affair

Starbucks' New CEO Brews Up a $113 Million Caffeine Rush

In a move that's perked up the coffee world, Starbucks has named a new CEO with a compensation package so grande it'll make your eyes twitch faster than a quadruple espresso shot