Red Lobster Unveils "Endless Lettuce" with Infinite Sauce Bar
In Red Lobster's somber boardroom after declaring for bankruptcy, directors shifted uncomfortably as Cindy Shells, the CEO's enthusiastic executive assistant, stood to present.
Aisle Be Damned: Target's War on Shrinkage Goes Parabolic
In a bold move to combat shrinkage (fancy term for someone sneakily taking a cookie without asking), Target has unveiled its latest loss prevention strategy: transforming entire stores into giant vending machines.
Starbucks' New CEO Brews Up a $113 Million Caffeine Rush
In a move that's perked up the coffee world, Starbucks has named a new CEO with a compensation package so grande it'll make your eyes twitch faster than a quadruple espresso shot